A few years ago I was really struggling with the whole reading the Bible every day thing. Every time I would miss a day I would get so discouraged. I felt like I would never get it together. I would get so frustrated when I would think about EVERYTHING that I couldn't do right. You see, in my mind if I was going to read the Bible everyday, I would also have to start getting up on time every day, eat healthy, be kind to everyone, keep my chores done, have all of my school done, never get angry...you get the picture. Anyways, if any one of those ideals weren't fulfilled I would just give up. And because I was so upset with myself, not to mentioned embarrassed, I would turn into this angry monster...
A normal conversation between my mom and I would go something like this...
"Hey Gracie, did you do your chores yet? It's 5:00..."
"(growl) NO MOOOOM...NOT YET!"
"Honey why do you always have such an angry spirit? Is there really something wrong with me asking you about your chores?"
"(sigh) No Mom, there's not, and I don't ALWAYS have an angry spirit I'm just frustrated right now!"
"Gracie, did you do your devotions today?"
"WHAT MAKES YOU ASK THAT?!!!! NO MOM, NOT YET!!!!"
"Ok, well why don't you go do that now and then we'll talk"
"(mumbling and grumbling all the way to my room)"
"(from the kitchen) Oh Gracie, I'm making dinner are you eating good today?"
That was a pretty common day for me...and my mom. After some time it hit me that I couldn't do this forever, and I needed to get right. My then youth pastor and his wife, after seeing me come to church all too often in my Hulk get-up, challenged me to do a simple word study. He subtly suggested the word "peace," and after receiving a study Bible for Christmas I decided to give it a shot.
HOLY COW!!!! I had taken maybe 15 minutes one night and read one section about peace, and I couldn't wait for it to be tomorrow so that I could do the next one. God was working in my heart and I was falling in love with Him. I found that I probably wouldn't be able to just wake up and do everything right all day, but I also found that it was ok. I was growing, and when I fell God picked me right back up and was walking with me. For a while there I think my family thought that I had forgotten to take my angry pills. No, I just had a new perspective on life and God. I realized that the peace I was looking for didn't come from being perfect, but from being in a close relationship with my Savior.
My reason for telling you this is to explain what you will be seeing for the next few days. Everyday for the next little while I will be posting one of the devotions on peace that I did. Hopefully it will be an encouragement to someone, or maybe it'll be a challenge to do a word study of your own. Let me know what you think.
Finding peace in Christ was one of the most spectacular things that has ever happened to me, and I feel honored to share it with others.
Thanks for letting me be a part of your day, and may the rest of it be amazing.
I love this! Your transparency is great and your writing is comical and engaging. Great job, Gracie!
ReplyDeleteThank you Sir, that's very encouraging!!!:)
DeleteAmen! I too struggled with reading my Bible every day and the guilt does weigh you down and discourage you. Thank you for being so honest about your personal need a love and desire to learn about God and His peace that He can give us. Few people would be willing to share their sinful nature and admit to be in need of spiritual growth! I only hope that I will be as willing to share my needs and God's gift of forgiveness and fulfillment. If you had never shared this then I would have never known. When I saw you this last summer I could see God's love shining through and a loving spirit towards those around you. I love you so much Gracie!!!! May God continue to grow both of us!
ReplyDeleteThank you Naomi for you sweet comment!!! I love you too!!!:)
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